KINLEY KHANDU CHODEN | Thimphu
Addiction rarely begins with the intention of losing control. For many people, experimentation or the desire to fit in gradually develops into dependence, affecting relationships, mental health, and self-worth.
For one Bhutanese recovering from substance addiction, that journey led through years of isolation before he finally found the courage to seek help and rebuild his life.
Karma (name changed) the recovering addict shared his personal story in the hope that others struggling with addiction will understand that recovery is possible, even when the path appears impossible.
According to Karma, addiction slowly eroded the trust of the people closest to him. During those years, Karma became someone who refused to listen to advice and made decisions based only on what felt convenient at the time.
“Before my recovery began, I was a drug user who listened to no one and did things the way I found convenient. With time, everyone lost their faith in me, even my family. The distance became longer each day with every one of them,” he said.
Addiction affected more than his family. Friendships faded, and many people who once cared about him eventually walked away. Yet a small number remained by his side, and he now credits their unwavering support as one of the reasons he chose recovery.
“I lost almost everyone I knew, but there are those who stuck by me through the end and are still with me.”
The darkest period of his addiction came when he reached what he described as “rock bottom.” At that point, he struggled to understand his emotions. Anger became frequent, loneliness intensified, and he found himself trapped between emotional pain and substance dependence.
“When I hit rock bottom, I couldn’t exactly interpret what I was feeling. I developed temper issues, had no one to talk to, and felt like I was getting closer to depression,” he said. “The only coping mechanism I knew to stop those emotions was to go back to the substance I was dependent on.”
His experience reflects how addiction often becomes less about seeking pleasure than escaping emotional pain, making recovery even more difficult.
Eventually, he decided to seek treatment. However, entering recovery proved to be only the beginning of another difficult battle.
“The heaviest struggle I faced was the withdrawal during recovery,” he recalled. “I knew it was for my own good, but there were times when I nearly relapsed.”
He described experiencing severe mood swings, constant restlessness, sadness, and the physical effects of detoxification as his body adjusted to life without drugs. Every day presented a challenge, requiring determination to resist returning to the substance that had once become his escape.
“During the recovery period, my body was undergoing detoxification to remove those substances, but it was too much for me at times,” he said.
Beyond the physical symptoms, the emotional challenge was equally demanding. For him, the hardest step was not simply entering treatment but admitting the reality of his addiction and confronting the life he had built around it.
“The biggest hurdle I faced was admitting to the addiction and the lies I had lived all these years, exposing the vulnerable me,” he said, referring to the psychological dependence that made him crave drugs despite knowing their harmful effects.
Accepting vulnerability, he explained, required letting go of the image he had created for himself and acknowledging that he needed help. It was an uncomfortable but necessary turning point that allowed genuine recovery to begin.
As sobriety became part of his daily life, he rebuilt healthy routines through regular walks, gym sessions, and sports. Although these changes improved his health, rebuilding trust proved slower. Many people continued to see him only as an addict before gradually recognising his commitment to change.
“I became healthier. I went for walks, joined the gym, and started playing sports again,” he said.
“It was hard initially because I was branded as a burden and an addict. But with time, people started noticing the better direction I had chosen. I got back the people I thought I had lost in the process,” he said.
Today, when reflecting on the person he once was, he sees addiction through a very different lens. He believes much of his substance use stemmed from youthful insecurity and the mistaken belief that drugs could provide confidence and acceptance.
“Back then, I thought doing drugs made me look cool and gave me confidence. Now, looking back, I realise I was just a kid putting up a facade in front of the whole world,” he said.
Today, he hopes that sharing his story anonymously will encourage others struggling with addiction to seek help without shame. While recovery demands patience, honesty, and determination, he believes it is possible.
“There are people who will stand by you,” he said. “Recovery is difficult, but it is worth it.”
